exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
