i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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