The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
