one two three fourrrrnication!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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