Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
