I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
