Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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