So drunk, too bad you don't want this
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
