I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
