Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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