he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
