Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
