I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
