after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
