carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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