Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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