STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
