are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize