I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
