Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
