another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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