belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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