I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize