That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
