I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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