whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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