All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize