rhymes with "ouble enetration"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
