Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
