and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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