Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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