You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
