my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
