i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
