Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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