his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
