Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
