Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
