If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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