This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
