The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
