i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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