WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
