I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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