and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
