i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
