omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
