would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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