Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
