Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
