Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
