I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How does one acquire holy water?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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