We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
