You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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