He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
third nipple confirmed
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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