he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
