Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...

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(630): View more from Illinois

if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....

(843): View more from South Carolina

I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...

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(917): View more from New York City

Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.

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(971): View more from Oregon

He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"

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(917): View more from New York City

I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs

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