singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize