Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
