Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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