SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
