What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
