Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
