Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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