Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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