This is not my ceiling
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
