Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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